What are the differences in counselors, clergy, and educators doing marriage prep?

 

As we discussed in the question about the differences in premarital counseling and couples counseling, the people you work with come from various backgrounds and have various levels of training and expertise.

 

Counselors are trained mental health practioners, so if you have some diagnosed issue, they know how to handle that. This may be beneficial if one of you suffers depression, anxiety, or any number of other issues. The counselor may be able to help your fiance understand the disease, how to be in relationship with each other AND the disease when it strikes. Counselors work with problems by their vary nature, so they often love working with happy engaged couples who have a positive outlook on the future. They can help you figure out if there are any underlying issues you may need to tackle as a couple. A warning: anyone with a license can do couples work but very few are trained in couples work (one of the most challenging forms of therapy) and fewer still have a lot of experience with couples. Most of the counselors listed on our site are Marriage Friendly Therapists, which means they've been vetted for their level of training, experience, and approach that says a marriage is worth fighting for (versus giving up easily or not caring whether your marriage can be saved.)

 

Clergy may or may not have tremendous experience working with couples, depending on the size of their organization and who is on staff. One of their strengths is obviously combining faith into the discussion of marriage and family life. They are often performing weddings so they have a unique perspective to offer. If they do not do marriage preparation themselves (because they're too busy or there are too many couples), they may direct you where to go and what the expectations are for you to be married in the faith.

 

Educators who work with engaged couples usually have a passion for relationship education. They may have credentials and degrees in family studies. Often they are trained in a marriage preparation program so you are getting a Ph.D. level experts coursework through the training material offered by the educator. They may be inside religious organizations, in non-profit agencies, or entrepreneurs doing workshops on their own. Some counselors flip to "educator" role when they offer group classes and workshops by combining their expertise as a group level in education rather than therapy.