What's the difference between premarital counseling and "regular" couples counseling?

 

This is a good question without a simple answer.

 

If you think of preventative work, this could include car diagnostics, going to your doctor for regular physicals, and even work done a round the house to keep things from falling apart.

 

The same thing applies to relationships. Just as other professionals know the most common things to break down and the easiest "fixes", marriages are the same! Without someone having to knowing your personal relationship history, there are ways to do some preventative work now, while engaged. Premarital counseling, or "marriage preparation", or "premarriage counseling" or "marriage education" can all be used to describe this preventative work.

 

At a national level there is no standard for what to cover. There are usually core topics - money, communication, conflict resolution, family of origin, sexuality. Unless using a national program, every professional, religious organization, or individual mentor is able to come up with their own way of dealing with these topics. Some have very formal books, manuals, classes, inventories, and excersizes ALL couples go through. Others are more informal, going through each topic to see what might be a hot button issue.

 

If you know you have a problem, your car is already not turning on, your body has some serious symptoms, then you go directly to TREATMENT. This is where couples counseling comes into play. The immediate problems need to be addressed! There are engaged couples who have some really serious relationship problems and need help now. They would probably go straight into regular counseling, with a licensed mental health provider.

 

About 10% of couples going through premarriage preparation realize they should not get married. While breaking up is sad, it's actually a success if you can avoid legally binding yourselves and joining your family clans by realizing early that you should not be together.