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Wedding DJ Tips | Wedding DJ Ideas

An Experienced DJ Company Answers Unique Questions

 

Q. If someone is just starting out at the VERY beginning of wedding planning, what do you wish couples would think about, musically, as it relates to where they're having their reception? (This could be dance-ability of the space, sound issues because of reception location, etc.)

 

A. When couples are choosing their entertainment they should always consider the space provided for the Band/DJ and make certain that the venue has enough space for the guests, a decent sized dance floor, and an area for the Band or DJ to set up. Some facilities are simply too small for a Band so a DJ would be the most obvious choice for entertainment. Clients should also strongly consider their seating charts. Don’t place elderly guests in the “line of fire” of the DJ speakers, they will most likely complain and have a negative experience.

If you intend on having lights and video screens and the whole 9 yards, make certain that there’s enough space for that in the reception area as well. If the venue is an Outdoor facility, make sure to include covering for the DJ, either a tent, an umbrella, or another form of shelter. This includes sunlight as well as rain. Our contract covers that, but clients should always assume that they are responsible for providing covering for the DJ equipment.

If clients are interested in the DJ providing the music for the Ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception, they need to consider the logistics here. Will these events all be held in the same location, or 2 or 3 different areas? If multiple areas but at the same location, the DJ might still need to provide multiple sound systems, which ultimately increases your budget for entertainment. Don’t assume the DJ will just play music for your ceremony and cocktail hour as “part of the deal” this is generally something that is contracted for and priced individually.

 

Q: If the couple and their families aren't really into dancing, what would you suggest for music so it keeps a great mood but also allows for talking and fellowship during the reception?

 

Great question! We’ve seen countless receptions where we are hired to DJ but there wasn’t a lot of dancing, for either religious purposes or, the families don’t like to dance. We suggest that if the client needs an MC to keep the event running smoothly, they consider hiring a DJ for that purpose as well as to provide a really nice mix of background music. We believe that “Music Enhances the Memories” it’s our little saying. We ask for input from the client on the types of music they and their families enjoy and then we mix that with other great choices that aren’t too “dance beat driven” so as to not be distracting but rather enhancing to the mood of the occasion. The music choices can vary widely, based on cultural backgrounds, age ranges of the group, and the location of the venue. For instance, if the guests are aged 35-75, the event is at an Italian Villa or Spanish style facility, and the clients enjoy big band and swing, we would play a lot of Rat Pack, standards, and what the music world refers to, perhaps reluctantly, as “Mob Hits.” The mood would be enhanced and the guest’s ears would be pleased!

 

Q: What is the best balance between older music that the adults in the wedding would recognize, and the more trendy, new music that might engage the younger audience more?

Our DJs take guests on a musical journey throughout the event. We try to incorporate all of the client’s song choices as well as what we know will move a crowd to dance or music that provides great background for cocktail hour, dinner, etc. We do a great job to try to make everyone happy, but if the clients are predominately younger, 20’s and 30’s, we reserve the later part of the event to really cater to their musical tastes. Oddly enough, we find that many older guests do enjoy dancing to some of the newer music, so we never try to stereotype them, we just play a great balance and mix of music for all generations and everyone has a blast.

 

Q: Have you ever been at a wedding reception and the music the couple wants is just NOT working at all for the crowd? If so, what did you do to ensure the guests had a good time without offending the couple?

 

Again, going back to my statement about taking guests on a musical journey, our DJs work hard to incorporate the Bride and Groom’s playlist into what we know will work for the vast majority of Weddings and other events. Most of our DJs have many years of experience, so this generally is a very simple task. Usually, we scrutinize the playlist before the event ever arrives. We’ll communicate our concerns about music with our clients to be sure they understand that some of their music might not work well with such a diverse guest list as you find at a Wedding. We caution clients to consider their guest list when choosing their music. Most clients are very receptive to this; however, some are dead set on sticking to their playlist. If their ideas crash and burn, they usually beg the DJ to make the party pop, so we spring into action and do what we’ve been doing for years, we entertain the masses.

 

Q: Should couples really obsess over the "must play" songs, or would an excellent DJ service like yourselves, be a better judge of the mood in the moment, assessing the guest age range and interest in dancing? Likewise, what is your opinion on whether guests should be allowed to make music requests?

 

I often tell clients that “this is your Wedding, not ours, we don’t want it to be cookie cutter Wedding.” I generally follow that statement with the general idea that we want to hear some of the music that says “this is Justin and Casey’s Wedding” and the music they love got played along side of other great music, and a great time was had by all. The “must plays” are usually pretty good, and generally right in line with what we were going to play anyhow. I would say that 60-70% of “must play” lists match my own selection of must plays. If the client is really hard-line about it, I might make an announcement at some point thanking the client and acknowledging in a nice way that he/she/they chose some or all of the great music for me to play, which is a passive aggressive way of relieving myself from hearing “that DJ played terrible music” if the clients choices were not so great.

I think guests should be encouraged to request music but I always tell them that the client chose a specific list that we are to follow, and I will try to fit their request in if it matches well with the client request list.

 

Q: I heard a very, very sweet story in a bridal association newsletter about an elderly woman who asked the DJ at every wedding she attended about a very old song. No DJ had heard of it. Finally, one DJ company had it, played it while watching her cry, and later mailed her a copy of it, after learning it was HER first dance song to her husband of 60+years, who had passed away. She had not heard it in decades. Do you have any other sweet stories you can share?

 

In 2007 I was DJing a Wedding and we did an “Anniversary Dance.” This is when the Bride and Groom and all the Married couples at the Reception come to the dance floor to dance to a few slow songs and we slowly weed away the couples by how many years they’ve been married, starting with the shortest amount of time “less than 5 hours” for the Newlyweds, and on down to the longest married couple in the room. For Events with lots of married couples, this is a great tradition and a great DJ can make this a very special moment. One couple looked as thought they were going to be the last ones standing and I was trying to do the math in my head for how long they were married and what songs might have been appropriate for their age. I quickly thought of “Only You (And You Alone)” by The Platters released in 1955. Sure enough, the couple married 52 years was left alone on the dance floor when “Only You” began playing and they both looked at me with eyes wide and yelled out, “This was our song!!!” Great DJs help make great memories, but sometimes, luck is on our side.

 

Q: If you put your "lifelong marriage" lens on, how would you recommend music playing a role in the wedding reception? I always thought it would be extremely romantic to play the first dance song, or couple songs, of all the key stakeholders (parents, grandparents, siblings, important aunts, uncles, etc.) Does that get too sappy or could that be a successful way to blend music and family?

 

While there is certainly no shortage of “Traditional Families” out there, we find that “Blended Families” account for a vast majority of our Wedding Receptions. This can present a challenge when considering playing “first dance” songs for couples who are part of that “Blended Family.” I can’t imagine playing my mother’s “first dance” song with her new husband while my father and his wife sat idly by, waiting to see if they might have a chance to dance, when in fact, they don’t have a first dance song. However, in a more traditional family that celebrates this type of romanticized idea, I am sure it would work wonderfully, and I have seen it work at numerous receptions. What I do not suggest is “singling” out that couple, but rather playing the song somewhere in the evening and if that couple dances to it, let them have their moment while everyone else is dancing as well.

 

Q: There is the age old question of live music versus a DJ. In what ways can a DJ provide a level of confidence to a couple and their wedding reception success that live music could not?

 

First and Foremost, a DJ can play absolutely any type of recorded music, even songs that haven’t been published (i.e. your friend wrote and recorded a song for your first dance but it isn’t a song you can purchase in stores) We can span all the genres and periods of music and we can bring literally tens of thousands of songs with us to an event. A live Band generally has less than 200 songs to choose from.

In addition, unless the Band is working weddings every weekend or at least 20-30 times a year, they won’t have the experience to properly MC your event and help it flow smoothly. Most Band MC’s are average at best, and they make a lot of simple mistakes that professional Wedding DJs would never make. I saw one “Professional Wedding Band” call out the father daughter dance while the father of the bride was on the other side of the house, sleeves rolled up, glass of wine in had, reclining and having a conversation with family members. He wasn’t made aware that his dance was coming up next. I was a guest at this wedding, and I sprung into action to get the FOB and usher him to the dance floor. The awkward minutes of waiting were entirely the fault of the band and no one else. This wouldn’t have happened with a professional Wedding DJ.

And of course, bands are generally more expensive than DJs, they take breaks which DJ’s never do, and their sound equipment and space requirements make it difficult to accommodate them in many event locations. Most great DJs alleviate a lot of these concerns. Having said all of that, I have sung in Bands and like most people, I too love live entertainment, which is why I occasionally sing a few songs to entertain and WOW my clients and guests. Whichever form of entertainment a client chooses, they should interview and ask tough questions of their professional entertainer before hiring them.

 

Q: When meeting a DJ company, how important is it to feel a real personality connection between DJ and couple? Is the most important personality fit between the DJ and the wedding reception experience and guests?

 

I think personality is the deciding factor for almost every client. We can offer special deals, lower prices, more experience, hip appearance, fancy new equipment and none of that will matter if the client and the DJ do not hit it off well. Sometimes clients want a DJ that is really outgoing and perhaps they don’t get that feeling from some of the DJs they’re interviewing, or the opposite, a client meets lots of DJs who are really outgoing but they are looking for a low key DJ. Great DJs are obviously people with bigger personalities than your average Joe, but they don’t have to be ego centric, or over the top or “cheesy” to be great DJs, in fact we feel that DJs should allow their great music selections to speak for them, and their “on-microphone” or “on-stage persona” to come as a secondary to that.

 

Q: There is often family drama at wedding receptions. What advice do you have for couples who have an "impossible person" that may flare up, want the mic, etc?

 

In my career, I have been threatened, accosted, nearly assaulted, and have had things thrown at me by angry drunks. Alcohol and some people do not mix, though we usually know well in advance who the “perpetrator” is going to be if they are a friend or family member. My advice to Brides and Grooms as a DJ would be, keep Uncle Drunk and Auntie Wine-o under wraps. Have a conversation with a relative or friend that you suspect will be out of control and explain that if they can’t keep it together, they might not be sticking around for the whole show. (Or read our book from The First Dance, Take Back Your Wedding, for really solid advice on handling difficult people.)

It’s very embarrassing when someone acts out at a Wedding, and alcohol is generally the reason. If you fear this at your wedding, scale back the booze to include only Beer and Wine, although the serious drinkers always have a backup plan in place. Honestly, sometimes it’s nice to have an outside security officer at a venue just to be sure that things won’t get out of control. Believe it or not, I have had these negative experiences at High End Weddings as much as lower end of the budget spectrum, so no one is truly safe from it. Any unresolved family issues need to be left out of your wedding, so try to deal with them before the wedding arrives. Finally, get most of your toasts done at the rehearsal dinner. Don’t allow for “Open Mic” toasting at your reception unless you don’t plan to dance and don’t have a lot of traditional things to do, then general open toasting might be fine for filler. However, open toasts almost always go too long and someone inevitably makes a stupid remark. Keep your wedding fun and tasteful, make a schedule with your wedding professionals and stick to it as best you can.

A big thanks to Jason Jones, CEO and DJ at Elegant Event Entertainment, Inc. in Los Angeles, California. For budget information, find averages on our bridal budget page.

 

 

Elizabeth Doherty Thomas, is a co-founder of The First Dance, along with Marriage and Family therapist father Bill Doherty.� The First Dance is a 2007 Modern Bride Trendsetter award winner for taking on the complex family dynamics of wedding planning.� See what engaged couples and wedding professionals are saying about our book Take Back Your wedding. Our entire website is dedicated to offering advice on working through the people stresses of wedding planning as a couple, with your families, and how to strengthen your upcoming marriage through this enormous first task of married life.