Number One Cause of Wedding Stress? Hint: It's the people.

Number One Cause of Wedding Stress?

Hint: It's the people.

There is so much wedding stress out there that it shows the power of our wedding culture that anyone has a wedding at all. In our view, it is tragic when people want a wedding but are afraid of the "family dynamics" of wedding planning so they attempt to elope. That often results in even more family drama. I also see tragedy when couples feel they have to have a big, lavish wedding but can't afford it so they postpone getting married (and not just waiting a year, but years or indefinitely.) It's time to Take Back Your Wedding.

There is a new way to think about your wedding, your relationship, and your families. Welcome to The First Dance, an award winning perspective that tries to create win-win situations with you and your loved ones. Our goal is in helping you navigate what will become permanent stressors - difficult in-laws (who don't stop being difficult after the wedding), habits you start to hate while wedding planning (procrastinating spouse, nagging, whining, defensiveness behavior in yourself, your spouse, or family/friends) and through all the miserable stuff, still come out the other side with a wedding you love, surrounded by people who care about you and your marriage.

It is possible, but for some of us it's a major shift away from the cultural myths out there about weddings, about marriage, and about family life. So let's get started!

Why Do Others Care About My Wedding Plans?

One of the greatest myths around wedding is the notion that it's all about you! At face value yes, it is about you because you are the bride or groom and without your decision to marry, there would be no wedding. But that's as far as the "it's all about you" logical will get you. The rest is more complicated. Read More...

Wedding Planning with your Fiance: Stress, Priority Setting and Teamwork

When it's just the two of you, dating, life can be grand. It is truly the most self absorbed period of your relationship when there are no more worries than what movie to see or where to eat dinner. You can talk for hours about everything under the sun and you can fantasize about your future life together.

And then you get engaged. Read more...

Wedding Stress and Mistakes Made with Parents

Parents are a funny thing. You may expect them to be complete thrilled with your engagement and the wedding or maybe you think they won't really care much. Their actual reactions can run across the board and your own response to their reaction can also surprise you! Read more...

Wedding Stress and In-Laws

Announce your engagement and you immediately become an in-law. Like it or not, you join a new family. This truth, well known to every married couple on the planet, somehow hits every newly engaged couple like a meteorite striking from the sky. You not only have your own (lovable but sometimes difficult) family to deal with, but you now have this other family, with their strange ways and demanding cast of characters. And these two families of strangers somehow have to work together to plan a wedding. It’s dealing with the families that brings many brides and grooms to their knees. Read more...

Wedding Stress and Mistakes Made with Siblings

Whether you love your siblings or lead different lives, weddings will bring up old emotions, potnetial jealousy as parents pay or more less attention to you or your wedding than they are to your siblings, and your fiance(e) may be perceived as an unwanted new family member. Read more...

Wedding Stress and Mistakes Made with Relatives

If you are lucky you are not only close to your relatives but they have great relationships with your parents and each other. Relatives can be like second parents, providing great emotional support as well as logistical support for your wedding.

Sadly there seems to be few families that do not have some sort of cut off in the family. Read more...

Wedding Stress and Mistakes Made with the Wedding Party

Who to ask to be part of your wedding party can be extremely fast, easy and obvious, or it can be a wrenching, drama filled experience. If you're like me, you haven't been part of many weddings and don't even know what the wedding party roles are. Maybe you've been a bridesmaid in many weddings and have a lot of hard choices to make about who to invite or not.

One of the most striking mistakes I see time and again is the lack of clarity around who is being invited and what YOU expect of them and what THEY expect of their role. Read more...

Wedding Stress and Mistakes Made with Friends

One thing you learn the hard way is that wedding planning can be downright awful. You are forced to think about each of your friends and determine if they are "worthy" based on your budget and space restrictions. It is rarely fun, especially when who you spend the most time with may not be the people you are closest to and will be inviting to your big day. Figuring out who to invite brings up any past problems you've had with them, or guilt if you were part of their wedding but time has cooled your friendship. Read more...